I’ve Run Out of “One Day’s”
I’ve got seconds left. Focus. Where is she? There!
I love you!
I love you too.
Wait. She didn’t hear me. I see her mouth moving, but I can’t hear the words. Where is… there she is. My little sweet pea.
I love you!
The tears are streaming down her face. She can’t hear me.
I love you!
Oh please God, no! Give me another minute, PLEASE! OK. Focus. Why can’t she hear me?
I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! My wife, my love of my life.
What did she say? Focus!
NO. It’s getting dark. Please, God, no!
I awoke in sheer, dark terror from this dream and couldn’t sleep soundly again for months. What madness or mental machinations could have coalesced into such a terrible hell? Somehow, I knew the answer, but what was it…
Quietly, it landed on me with both feet the next day. My son emerged from his room in pants that were eight inches too short for him and holes in the knees. We were going to the store and he had just gotten dressed for the trip. I told him he needed to go back and get pants that fit him and that didn’t have holes. My wife immediately spoke up and said, “he doesn’t have any.” Now, before anyone decides I am a horrible parent, he had clothes that fit and didn’t have holes, but his pants had sadly not kept up with his most recent growth spurt or incredible, “unbottleable” energy. So all his “everyday” pants were in this state. I told him to come on. And, on the way out the door, I thought to myself, “One day, I’ll be able to buy my kids clothes without having to budget a month or two in advance.” Without warning, that nagging thought in the back of my head became a massive, tidal wave of realization… “one day” was an assassin who was killing me.
As is often the case when we have a sudden realization, understand a concept for the first time, or have suddenly decided how much we want a particular car, that concept or object begins appearing everywhere. And while there is a great deal of knowledge and literature related to this phenomenon, it came as no shock to me that “one day” really was everywhere in my life. It was, after all, my default mindset and state. One day I’ll stop drinking. One day I’ll have enough money to get out of an ancient house that’s falling down around my family. One day I can drive down the road unafraid that I’ll have another accident and have no car or money to replace it. One day I’ll do something incredible for my wife’s parents and be there for them when they really need it. One day, my kids won’t miss daddy 60 hours a week. One day, I will take my wife somewhere for our anniversary other than a local restaurant. One day, I won’t cringe inside or wait until it’s too late whenever my teeth hurt. One day, we won’t be one disaster away from poverty. One day my family’s future will be financially secure. One day…
Every thought I had and every action I took reflected this perpetual state of meaningless direction and expenditure of time. I dreamed. I set goals. They expired, unrealized. Rinse and repeat. Time, marched on.
Folks, we’re born dying. Let’s just put that out there right now. Our clocks start counting down from their preordained allotment of time the moment we take our first breath. Time isn’t going to wait until you get your act together, overcome your fear, or finally decide to take meaningful action. Time isn’t going to let you buy more of it or renegotiate your contract; it doesn’t give two rips about us. So, what we need to do is to seize control and make every moment count.
My one day’s used to center primarily around finances and the ramifications for my family, but yours may be different. Maybe there’s some special girl or guy you want to get to know but you’re avoiding it. Maybe you want to have a project night with your children but you’re too tired when you get home from work. Maybe you can’t bring yourself to stop drinking even though you’ve had two close calls this month. Maybe there’s someone in your family you just can’t bring yourself to apologize to but yet you know it will be a life altering event. Maybe you’ve been waiting to go on a vacation to a special place your whole life. Maybe you’ve wanted to start a business for yourself for years. Maybe your spouse or child needs a hug and a kiss right now. Whoever, wherever, whatever… don’t wait. You’ve run out of “one day’s.” You could be gone tomorrow. They could be gone tomorrow. It might be too late next week, next month, or next year. Whatever it takes, make it happen.
Because at the end, that’s it.
Don’t wait another moment.
